|Fear Of Failure
by SARA AHMAD
It is natural to dislike failing at things for all but, for some children, the fear of failure provokes such intense anxiety that it changes their behaviour. Fearing failure can cause children to avoid certain activities or to hesitate to attempt or do their best.
Perceiving The Failure
Fear of failure relates to how children perceive the consequences of failure. Children also fear failure because they fear not having a sense of achievement. People who fear failure become perfectionists in an attempt to avoid the feelings of shame and embarrassment that come with failure. Someone who perceives a lot of pressure to succeed from her parents is more likely to feel shameful and embarrassed if she fails.
Children learn to avoid activities that might lead to failure. While this may protect the child from experiencing the negative emotions that come with failure, it also causes them to miss out on potentially valuable learning experiences.
Parents can take steps to reduce their child's fear of failure. Look for signs of anxiety in your child, such as feeling sick, tired or not wanting to go to school. Talk to your child if he or she seems worried about things. You can help your child by keeping things in perspective – remind them that it's okay if they fail and that the negative emotions that come with failure will soon pass.
Parents' Role To Help Kids Overcome Fear Of Failure
For children, though, the very thought of not being able to succeed is enough to stop them from trying at all. So, as a parent, it is your responsibility to help your child to get rid of their fears. Today kids have a lot of peer pressure and societal pressure placed on them.
Walk through your child's school, flip through a few magazines or watch your child's favourite show with them. The fear of not measuring up can cause your child to simply not try.
Try to live by this motto, "If you learned something from it, then you did not fail." You can apply this motto to anything from riding a bike, to climbing a tree, to auditioning for a part in a school play. Think about it – if your child knows that success is seen as gaining experience and helping them move towards their ultimate goal, they will be more encouraged to try new things.
The Only Way To Fail Is To Not Try
Your child needs to know that the only way to fail at anything is to not try. They don't have to be the best; they just have to try their best. There is a big difference there. Do not have high expectations from your children to succeed instead encourage them to do their best.
Share With Your Child
Another tip is to share with your children, the times where you have failed, and what you did to overcome that failure or what you have learned from that failure. Depending on the age of your child it can be an eye-opening time for them. Younger children like to think that their parents are those incredible beings that can leap tall buildings and take on every bad guy in the world. So hearing that you have not always been able to "beat every monster" you have come up against but that you never gave up, you did your best and tried again, will help them see that they can try to do.
Finally, Don't Live Through Your Child
You may not realise that this is a tip to help them overcome fear of failure, but sometimes trying to be mom or dad is exactly what our children do. So, if they don't believe that they can do something as good as mom or dad would do it, they won't do it so that they don't disappoint you. Encourage them to try, you never know, they may do it better then you.