Q: I am 30 years old. Last year I had to go through a lot of trouble to convince my parents to let me marry a guy who belonged to a different sect. After a lot of struggle, they did let me marry him. I am an artistic person and have great passion for changing the look of my house. But my husband is completely opposite. He is very boring and doesn’t show any interest in whatever fun I want to do. A few months back, I was working for an advertising agency where I came across this man who is fun-loving and absolutely different from my husband, who follows a strict everyday routine. This other man I met, he is wants to have a relationship with me and even though I enjoy every bit of his company, I also love my husband a lot. Please let me know what should I do? Saira
A: If you are also thinking about this man over your husband, let me tell you, the problem lies with you. You’re married now, be it to a guy who is boring. And you’re not confused. You clearly know what you’re getting into. Simply your husband not liking your artistic ventures is reason not enough for you to initiate an affair with this new guy who happens to like things that you do. Its time you sever all ties with this man and be honest with the relationship you have with your husband. Be sensible. What if you leave your husband for him and he turns out to fall for another woman leaving you? Don’t be foolish.
Q: My friends take me to be their problem solver for each and every issue they come across. They don’t realise that I have to study and this ends up in me lagging behind on my school work. I don’t want to upset them by telling them I cannot sort their issues for they would mind. But I don’t want to ruin my grades. Help me! Samra
A: It’s good to be popular amongst your friends. It is also good to help people out when they are in a difficult phase. But what you need to learn is how to say ‘no’. You can’t simply give up your important hours to them. Learn how to prioritise and let them know that you have work to do as well and you can’t spoil your grades. If they get upset let them, for you need to keep yourself focused.
Q: My marriage was going extraordinarily well till recently. I love my husband a lot and he does so too but the problem arose when he got his hands on a few photographs that had me and my ex in them. Before my marriage I was in a relationship with this guy who used me while pretending that he loved me. Back then I was dumb and didn’t know how to prevent my heart from falling for him. He was the one who took those photographs. When I got married, I took the pictures with me thinking that I’ll destroy them but with my married life I was so engrossed that i completely forgot about them. Recently, my husband was looking for something and he came across those shots and has been mad at me since the past few weeks. He is so much angered that he is telling me he’ll leave me because those pictures are bothering him a lot. These pictures are a mistake of the past and now I’m madly in love with my husband. How should I save my marriage? Anonymous
A: Not every moment is worth keeping a record of for how you feel about something now might not necessarily be the way you feel about it, let’s say a few years later. So do not pile up unnecessary images in your computers or hard copies which might cause trouble later as they did in your case. Welcome to the real world, here your husband can’t be blamed for he has a right to be furious. What is the only reasonable option? You can accept your mistake and apologise and tell him that it’s a thing of the past and also why you were unable to get rid of them in the first place – as you were having a perfect life so you never thought of those photographs. Hope this can settle things.