23 - 29 May, 2015

She was walking down the street lit only by occasional street lights. She looked up at the sky, a sky where the moon was nowhere to be seen – maybe because the light of the moon had decided to blow itself out forever.
She kept walking down the streets with scenes of the past going round her mind like a never-ending film. Her eyes were dry – just as they were when her mother had hugged her on the day of her father’s funeral. Her mind, after a long time was clear for she knew exactly what she wanted to do. Then… she reached the cliff…
The sea too, was silent that night. No waves were hammering against the cliff and no sounds of roaring waves could be heard.
It was silent…
It was peaceful…
She closed her eyes…
A little girl was running towards the front door, wrapping her arms around her father, her father kissing her, lifting her in the air…
A suited man holding her finger taking her across the street to the school…
A man with his arms high above his head with a present in them… a girl jumping, trying to reach it…
A man falling unconscious to
the ground…
Kicking his brothers in the abdomen… and then the same girl pressing a pillow on that man’s face…
She quickly opened her eyes as the last scene flashed across them for she had made her decision. Closing her eyes again, she leaned forward, let her weight fall on her trunk, and threw herself across the cliff with eyes still closed. Wind gushed across her face, trying to lift her body, but failing. She could feel herself getting heavier and heavier as she neared the ground. Had it been anyone else, she would have screamed for help as her heart would have fluttered like a caged bird with the mind cursing for the haste… but she was peaceful… her mind was not contradicting her heart like it had when she was about to kill her father. She was happy she was going to rest… at last.
And then she hit the ground head first.
She had expected to land on water and hoped it won’t be so difficult, but hitting the ground was painful! There was a pain so intense she had never felt before. Blood was streaming out of what she thought was a crack in her skull. She tried to lift her hand to press it across the wound, but her hand didn’t move. Her arms lay lifeless beside her… her legs won’t move and the pain kept growing every second with the world spinning around her. Then colours started to fade… black and white replaced all the colours.
Eventually there was only black – darkness everywhere.
If that’s death, it wasn’t much difficult she thought as the last speck of life drained out of her.

* * *
Seconds… minutes… hours.
And the darkness started to fade again. Black and white started coming back to life. Blurred patterns eventually enveloped her surroundings that kept growing clearer every second. She could move her limbs and feel the pain in her body growing more and more intense. Finally everything was clear again.
She was lying on a bed which was clearly not her room. There was a side table on one side of her bed, topped with medicines and a drip on the other. A sheet was covering her body with her head wrapped in bandages. Haris was sitting besides her on a chair when she let out a muffled cry and his eyes turned towards her.
“I was awake and saw you leaving the house,” he said standing up and moving towards her. “I followed you, but got late – quite late.”
His eyes were like on fire. If he had brought her to the hospital that must have been out of concern, but even if it was, why couldn’t she feel it? Maybe it had been too long since someone had felt anything for her, maybe she had forgotten what it was really like to be cared for.
“What do you think you were doing? Killing yourself?” he said moving closer to her bed. “Wanted to make a headline tomorrow?
Wasn’t the disgrace our father had brought upon us enough? he continued, “like father, like daughter – both want to kill themselves.”
She turned her face away.

“You wanted to see what death’s like? With a story, ‘a girl threw herself off the cliff in the darkness of the night’ he said, giving her disgusting gestures. “Why not with something like a psychopath injured herself at night and died during treatment in the hospital?”
Her eyes widened with horror. How had she missed it? She had seen the same fire in her eyes years ago when she had killed her father. She knew exactly what he was going to do. He was going to rid his family of the last bit of disgrace living among them.
Holding both her arms with one hand, he pressed them tightly against her body…
“I could have killed you right there, but I wanted you to taste what real death is like.” He leaned forward as his heavy hand landed on her mouth.
“T-Tell…mum…I…I…-l-o-v-e-…h-her… a-aand…I…ki…”
And life faded out of her body.

* * *
She was standing behind the tree in their courtyard. Her body was lying there in the centre and her mother was sitting besides it, weeping with her brothers sitting on either sides of her trying to console her.
“She said she loved you. These were her last words.” But no, they weren’t. Her last words had to be different, but he had been too busy killing her to give her time to finish.
“She was having psychiatric problems. Grief of her father’s death stung her bad,” someone else said.
Then someone rose amongst the crowd and went towards Haris and sat down besides him, putting his hand on his shoulder.
“She was your only sister, you must have loved her a lot?” he said.
Before Haris could answer, she shouted at the peak of her voice. She wanted to tell them how they had treated her and how he had killed her.
“Yeah, we did,” he said, “we do and always will. Life would seem impossible without her.”
She had forgotten they couldn’t hear her voice anymore. For a moment she wanted to rewind the clock, for she wanted to go back to her brothers, her mother as after such a long time someone had said he loved her. But then as he leaned forward to hug his friend, she caught sight of his eyes – the same indignation.
Same fire…
Same dryness…
He hadn’t meant any word he had said. It was just a show off, a clever act to save his own skin.
She moved away from the back of the tree and turned back to have a last glimpse of her mother’s face and raised her feet from the ground, letting the wind carry her along with it.
She felt so light.
She felt the burden of grieves getting lighter and lighter as she approached the sky.
She felt her brain shedding all the bad memories.
She was happy.
She was peaceful.
She went through the curtain of the sky… and the veil closed… hiding all her grieves behind it.•

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