MAG EXPERT ADVICE

|||MAG||| June 13 - 19 , 2009

Of Mind & Heart

Expert AdviceMothers-in-law cannot just let go. Ask any bahu and she will keep on babbling about the horrific traits of her mother-in-law. I wonder, is it so difficult to live harmoniously in a family. Thank God, I am still single but that doesn't mean I cannot solve the problems of all those bahus out there! Love, -Super Smart Sis.

I am a 28-year-old married woman with a year-old son. My husband is the only son and my widowed mother-in-law lives with us.
My mother-in-law is 55 years old. My father-in-law died when she was 40 years old. My problem is that she pokes her nose into everything and I have no privacy at all. She will do housework only if I also work with her and she then keeps on talking till I am exhausted. She also comes with my husband and me whenever we go out. As a result, the only time I have alone with my husband is when we are in our bedroom.
I feel very lonely and unhappy. I don't get any happiness from either my marriage or my home. What should I do? I am a full-time homemaker.
Harried

Umm hmmm… there is nothing in life that cannot be worked around. A little compromise from your end and a little from hers. You seem to be bored with your life which you find confining and uninteresting. This is understandable,

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but you should also try to understand your mother-in-law’s position. She was widowed young and so must be feeling very lonely. Besides, your husband is her only son and so you have to accept that she is a permanent part of your home and family.
But this does not mean that you cannot have any life of your own. Tactfully, make her understand that there are some duties that she must perform without you by her side. Let her play a larger part in looking after your son. You should also go out occasionally with your husband without her. You can leave the child behind with her at these times.
Develop a good relationship with your husband by talking frankly with him. Develop interests and hobbies. Go out on your own or with your friends as well. Have a social circle of your own. Do all you can to make your life challenging and fulfilling. Life is too precious to waste in being bored or depressed.
When you will be busy in chores other than the ones that encompass home-making, you will notice your mother-in-law's demands and interventions less.

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