Sadly, the only answer I got to all my questions, was a big fat yes. I couldn’t evade society’s expectations and stereotypical attitudes by any philosophical, psychological or sociological mumbo jumbo. I couldn’t live on an island and couldn’t let Fawad suffer any more in silence.

But what is one to do if God has not destined for them to be parents?

Ruby brought me out of my reverie.

She wanted to take me into the inner room for the remainder of my services while the hair dye dried.

As soon as my head hit the service table I dozed off. I was already fighting the urge to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. Even the sharp pain of the waxing did not stir me too much.

How tired was I? How bruised and exhausted? Maybe I had gotten it all wrong. Maybe it wasn’t Fawad at all? It was me. I had taken on the world so quickly after Noor’s death. I hadn’t given myself time to grieve. I had rushed into the healing part because I saw that as the only way to help my crumbling marriage. I had forgotten, that I needed more time to grieve over her loss. I was in terrible pain and I didn’t even know it.

Maybe about two hours later as all my services were done, Ruby woke me up. She offered me refreshments. I chose a cup of strong tea. Wow! I felt like I had woken up after a lifetime.

As I came out, I glanced at Saman. She was slumped back on the couch, mouth open and snoring away blissfully. It made me laugh. Poor thing. It was such a funny sight. But she was beat, I figured.

I got my hair washed and when Ruby started to blow dry my hair, Saman began to stir. She kind of stumbled her way to us, still in a stupor.

“Wow Saima,” her voice groggy but cheerful. “Now, aren’t you happy I dragged you here in the first place? Ruby you’ve brought my friend back to life! Thank you so much!”

“Yes Saman, I love it too! I can’t thank you or Ruby enough. By the way Ruby isn’t letting me decide on the nail color. She wants you to make all the major decisions today. She says I’m your Barbie doll!”

Saman laughed out loud and told Ruby to go with a dark burgundy, as glossy as they come.

My hair looked beautiful. Soft curls and wisps and caramel in color. I was really reborn. I felt rejuvenated.

The nail color simply popped on my perfectly manicured fingers. I was on cloud nine!

“All done!” exclaimed Ruby.

I looked at the clock. It was almost 6 in the evening.

I had enough time to get home and dress into something nice before Fawad came home.

“So what’s the plan little missy? Are you ready to reveal this amazing look to your significant other?” Saman had a naughty grin on her face.

I smiled back and hugged her.

“Thank you Saman. You’ve probably saved me. You helped me in more ways than anyone I know. I love you!”

“Awww silly! Stop it. You just need me to kick you in the butt, every once in a while. Now, let’s go before our families think we’re MIA.”

When I got home, Tabby was feeling lonesome and became all clingy.

“We’ve got to give you a name, you little stray.” I picked him up and rubbed its soft fur against my cheek.

I fed him and then got ready for Fawad.

I finally heard the key turn at the door. I stood up to greet him. I wore a cool blue dress and burgundy lipstick to go with my nails.

I smiled cheerfully when the door opened.

Fawad froze when he saw me, the new me. Then he smiled and came towards me.

He didn’t say anything. He just looked at me, admiringly.

I couldn’t retain my excitement.

“Fawad? Say something?”

He began to laugh. Then he said, “I don’t know who you are, but I’ll keep you. I’ll just go into the next room and tell my wife that you’re staying for good.”

Then we both started to laugh.•