- 07 Oct - 13 Oct, 2017
WHAT’S YOUR QUERY?
- 02 Sep - 08 Sep, 2017
Q: Hi, I am a 16-year-old girl. For the past few months, I have extreme mood swings, which are now affecting my health, as I often skip meals and never take care of my health. I am recently struggling so much that I want to escape this life but then I realise how valuable my life is for my family as they love me a lot. I have no problems with my family but have had issue making friends at college. I have always been an extremely introvert person and hardly had any friends as a kid. My only best friend left for the US when we were in school and ever since then I haven’t befriended anyone. I find the world really artificial and dislike meeting pretentious people. I hate the way I look and feel like everyone is judging me because I am overweight and nothing looks good on me. Please tell me how to get rid of these feelings and feel better. Zara
A: Dear Zara, life does get a little difficult at times but believing in positivity is one quality that you must instil in your personality. I am sure that you have your own reasons of being an introvert; a lot of introvert people have a difficult time making new friends and mixing in the social circle. It is normal, until it takes a toll on your health and you start neglecting your health because of it. It’s okay to have one or few friends or have none at all, people often like sending time on their own, which is perfectly normal. If you have gone through something in the past which resulted in your low self-esteem, try to forget that and move on in life. Since you have no issues with your family, try talking to someone you’re close among them and share your feelings with them. Talking really helps relieve emotional burden. Otherwise, take help from a mental health professional. Try not to think a lot about what you don’t have and instead focus on what you are blessed with, life will be much easier.
Q: I have been married for 10 years and there are a lot of things I simply hate about my wife. Her most annoying habit is that she doesn’t know the worth of money and is not a wise homemaker. She just doesn’t care or know how to spend money and what to spend it on. Ever since we got married, I have made sure that I never deprive her of her right and have provided her with the best. I think this is why she was spoilt right from the beginning of our marriage. Ours was an arranged marriage and I agreed to it because my mother really liked my wife back then, but now even my mom is unable to tolerate her loud behaviour. The only reason I do not want to leave her is because we have two children, an eight-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son. I have tried to warn her multiple times but she never wants to listen or change her behaviour. Please tell me what to do. Jamaal
A: Dear Jamaal, a difficult spouse is a test from God. You may be doing your best in the relationship but their undue tantrums and behaviour tend to test your tolerance. Such a strained relationship with the spouse is understandably difficult to sustain, however, one prefers to compromise when children are involved, as they are the ones who have to bear the consequences of parental discord. I would advise you see a marriage counsellor for this issue, as 10 years is a long time and considering your wife’s extremely unwise behaviour with you and your mom, it is not just the job of loved ones to make her realise her mistakes. Therapy helps individuals as well as couples to sustain their relationships in a smooth way. I hope it will help you too.