Obsessions

  • 15 Feb - 21 Feb, 2020
  • Salaar Laghari
  • Fiction

When I remember the old times, I realise that my life was not as bad as it is today. My mind was not peaceful back then, it never was. But today, my mind is restless and troubled. This is probably because I am a kind of person who is desperate to achieve something in life.

They called me a stalker, when I was too deeply involved with another person’s mental health problems. Although, they had no strong reason to claim that I am a stalker and yet they did. They all labeled me as a weird person and tried to ruin my reputation. I ask you, what is so wrong when you are trying to deduce a hypothesis out of someone else’s mind?

Earning subscribers on YouTube was never a difficult task for me. I gained plenty of them in a limited time but the question that kept on clicking in my head was, Did I or did I not deliver what I had promised them?

If I could spare some time and read their comments only then, I would have probably understood.

The negativity spreaders, you can find them on social media but I can assure you that I met someone who could be perfectly defined as a negativity lover. Why? Not because he practiced negativity but he worshipped it. I proved it, through his interview that his mind was not on track.

People have been telling me that I have become what I am seeking in others but that’s natural, isn’t it? I mean, there is always an influence on our minds when we are surrounded by a company of all those who have a similar nature.

I think by now, you have an idea about how twirled up my current state of mind is. What I am talking about is probably not comprehensible, and even if it is, there is hardly any connection between my statements. Trust me, when you will have a glimpse about my life then, you won’t think of me as you are now thinking. I have encountered some serious weird people and I do not think that the adventures of my life can be described in just few words.

**************

Right now, I am lying on my room’s carpet. I cannot stand up. In fact, I cannot even move. My situation is really critical. Just one move and I think I’ll be dead. As strange as it sounds, I have to tell you that it’s absolutely true.

I am covered with petrol right now. And on a table nearby, there are two candles lightened. If I try and stand up, I might slip. This one slip would be enough to burn me into ashes completely. Now, the question that might be revolving around your mind would be, How did I end up in this situation?

Well, to tell you the truth, it’s not that complicated. In few words, I can describe my state, “Minutes earlier, I wanted nothing more than death. And now, I want nothing more than my survival. I just want to jump out of this situation and lay my hands on him.”

Well, I can’t spoil the story like this. I would rather tell you from the beginning. But how can I share my story when I’m in extreme stress. I need to escape this situation first. Only then, I would be able to explain that why I am filled with so much rage and revenge.

One of the important conversations of my life that I do remember occurring but I cannot recall the exact time began as, “Who gave you the idea of working on this documentary?” I was asked.

“You did,” I answered.

“No, try to remember, it wasn’t me.”

“Oh, please, I think I’d definitely remember the person who would give me brilliant ideas.”

“I can prove it to you that it wasn’t me who invaded this idea in your head. I only aggravated it.”

“Then, who was it to invade the idea?” I asked.

This is it! This is all what I remember. I did not pay attention to this conversation but right now, I realise that I should have focused on this conversation and plenty of disasters that I witnessed some time back wouldn’t have occurred in the first place.

Alright, I’m jumping out now! I said to myself.

If I die, I am responsible for that, or should I say David McIntyre.

***************

I was really upset, sitting in my office. My secretary was trying to make a phone call but his call was probably not being answered. I was losing patience and was getting furious. He said to me,

“Sir, he is not answering the call.”

As if I cannot see it! I replied to him in my thoughts.

He asked me for the second time,

“He is not answering, should I call him from my number?”

“No, don’t. Just let it be. I know, it won’t be resolved like this.”

“But sir, you do realise why they are doing this. Your last two movies, they were I’m sorry to say but disastrous failures. The producers faced huge losses.”

“It was not because of my direction. I have been a film director for 17 years. My experience is way more than many others. But these producers just don’t understand how to spend their money on marketing. Their strategies and the distribution towards marketing teams have ruined them. It was not because of my direction. If you don’t believe me then, you should read the reviews and blogs.”

“I have read them, and I agree that fans have appreciated your direction as they always have. But they do not understand, what the industry really demands. The fans obviously don’t know what is trending.”

My office phone began to ring. I answered the call, by pressing the button that turned on the loudspeaker,

“Sir, Mr Robert is here, should I send him in?”

I was quite surprised and so was my secretary. We both looked at each other with amasement and curiosity. Robert was the one I was trying to reach since a while, but to our surprise he came over himself to visit us. I replied anyway,

“Yes, send him in.”

A few minutes later, Robert who was the producer of my movie came inside my office in his usual grey suit. I greeted him and asked,

“Hello! So, you’re finally here.”

“Look brother,” he responded, “I respect you as a friend and this is why I have come here to answer all your queries.”

“Okay, have a seat.”

He sat opposite to me and began,

“Now, I gave you the opportunity twice. I did my best to have faith in you, but I’m sorry, giving you another chance cost me billions of dollars. Tell me, if I’m wrong.”

“I wouldn’t say billions, millions would be more accurate.”

“All I’m saying is that I hope you understand why I am not hiring you as my movie’s director this time. I think, you should understand.”

“So, what are you trying to say?” I asked him with straight forwardness, “You’re saying that I have lost my strength, my capabilities or my expertise?”

“I’m not saying that you have lost anything. You have all of these qualities in you and you are talented as well. My point is that, you need a little break. You are tired, and that is why your current performance is not good as before.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry! But I don’t know how to put it in better words.”

“No, I want you to be honest. So, you also think that my work is getting worse or is it just because of the critics? They have manipulated your mind.”

“Look my friend,” he said holding his head, “You are taking this the wrong way. You are getting defensive. All I’m saying is that you need rest. Go home and plan a vacation. Give yourself a little time and then, I’m sure you’ll come back much healthier and smarter.”

I looked at my secretary and said to him,

“Please escort Mr Robert to the door, he is leaving now.”

I appeared rude but I had no other option. This person was hurting my ego. He was trying to be polite but I will not accept this. I know, I am the best and I do not accept any criticism from producers or any other person from the film industry.

“Sir, are you sure?” my secretary asked me.

“Excuse me?” I got a little angry and looked at him as I responded.

“No, its okay,” Robert said while standing up. “I am leaving, I just had to convey my message with all due respect. So, my work here is done.”

My secretary stepped ahead and walked towards him to escort him to the door. As I looked at Robert, I wondered,

So, these miserable people think that I am losing my colour. I can prove them all wrong. I will prove them wrong.

I said it out loudly,

YouTube! Yes, YouTube is a great medium to share my content for masses. Should I really consider this option?

I stood up and answered myself,

No, not now! I think I should call Eisenheim, my last hope. Maybe, he would like to sign a new project with me. That one project, I told him about earlier.

I was a little excited, as I had gained some hope.

v v v

That evening, I was at my home and was looking at the walls of my house. Those weren’t just any walls, the posters of my successful movies were hanging there. I used to look at them and remind myself of my accomplishments. This is not something unusual, many people do that. I however, told myself while looking at them,

You are not treating yourself well. You have pasted only those posters which were box office hits. This is not fair. You need to hang the posters of all the movies. Trust me, all of them were successful. If not at the box office then, they were at least huge successes among the fans.

Money was never something that really mattered to me. The appreciation was something that did, but even more than that what I actually wanted, was to share my content. My content was the translation of my thoughts. Nothing pleases me more than sharing my thoughts with others. I am not so good in speaking and conveying my thoughts. What I am good at, is designing my thoughts. Yes, I’m an artist. I paint through my content.

Anyways, I picked up my phone and made a phone call to Eisenheim. He answered my call after three rings,

“Hello?”

“Hey, Eisenheim, how are you doing?”

“Yeah, hi, I’m doing well.”

“Listen, I was thinking if we seriously consider the idea that we talked about the other day.”

“Which idea are you talking about, can you remind me again, please?”

“A documentary about wild obsessions of people.”

“Oh, I remember now,” Eisenheim replied, “Listen, please don’t take me wrong, but I am kind of occupied with another project. I’m sorry, I simply can’t work on that right now.”

“Okay,” I began to realise that his thoughts were the same as others. I answered him, “So, you’re not signing that project with me ever?”

“I didn’t say that, all I’m saying is…”

“…When are you signing that project with me?” I interrupted.

“Look, I’ll have to see my schedule. I can’t just make a decision like this.”

“Should I wait for your response or should I talk to other directors?”

“I would rather recommend you to ask others.”

That’s it, the final answer was here before me. I had understood what he intended. So, I didn’t speak a single word further and just simply ended the phone call.

I got to admit that I was frustrated. I did not like this at all. I said out loud,

I have to work on this project by all means. But what should I do? Should I produce my own film?

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