Fawad! Take a break!

  • 07 Mar - 13 Mar, 2020
  • Ayesha Adil
  • Fiction

Women are amazing. They work so hard. They look after their families and their loved ones. They are your daughters, sisters, wives and mothers. And hands down a woman can do anything when she sets her mind to it.

The female mantra, the one thing that the world never tires to claim, we keep the torch ablaze of the dynamics of being a woman. If anyone even suggests a contradiction to those claims we’ll bite their head off. We’ll completely chew them out. And not just face to face, but on every forum that we possibly can. This is the lack of tolerance that we hold.

But have you paid attention to the men lately?

Have you even noticed how hard they work?

They are our fathers and our brothers, or husbands and our sons.

Fawad had been slaving so hard for so long that at times it broke my heart to see him work so hard for his family.

He was never tired of fulfilling our needs and our desires. He was always upfront on all his promises and pledges to his family. There wasn’t a single day that he even complained. He never made any of us feel like a burden. And he was so giving. He gave to anyone he felt needed his time or financial help without asking.

Ever since I got better, I have been pressing him to let me go back to work but he insists that he can take care of us and I don’t need to worry about that. I didn’t necessarily need to work but I actually wanted to work because it made me feel useful and also gave me a sense of purpose. I knew that Fawad would continue taking care of me no matter what.

I just wanted to do something to lighten his load.

And I was clueless.

“You work too hard, Fawad, I think we should take a break.” I started off one day during breakfast. I had already dropped off Ibrahim to school and it was just the two of us. I don’t think Fawad even heard me. He was engrossed in finishing his breakfast and maybe planning his day.

“Fawad, you aren’t listening to me. Why do you need to work so hard? You never take a day off from work and you often stay late after hours. Are they paying you overtime? And what about the holidays and vacation time? It’s been forever since we went out for a nice, quiet meal. Are you even listening to me?” I was getting irritated now. This was what I really meant. He didn’t even have time to talk to me anymore.

I paused. Was I nagging him to work less or was I actually craving more time for myself? I had to take a minute to see it from a different perspective.

While I analysed the situation further, I just sat there silently and patiently waited for him to finish his meal.

Maybe it was a little of both. More work meant less time for me and Ibrahim. Less time with us was definitely driving me crazy. There were days when he would come home and take charge of baby and the house and I would be able to relax and do nothing. But now when he came home I was often already in bed. Heating up and having dinner was his prime task and then crashing dead beat into bed. Most days our only conversation would be like this, in snippets at the breakfast table.

“Saima, it’s not going to go on forever, you know. To answer all your questions; I do get paid overtime and then again it’s all about commitment. I have to complete my own deadlines. And I don’t recall having a quiet meal at any restaurant that I’ve been to in Karachi. The meals are the opposite of quiet. It’s dinner at home that I crave. And we will take vacations soon. Wasn’t it you who said we’ll go when Ibrahim is a little older so that he remembers his experiences as well? I’m just working hard now because I can. I am young and energetic. And I love my job.”

He continued, “I want us to be comfortable when I retire. And besides, if I don’t work then I’ll be lazy and useless. That’s not what men are supposed to do, you know. Be useless.”

These societal standards on men make my blood boil! Why can’t men do whatever they want? Why can’t they be freed from the shackles of bondage and be allowed a free day once in a while. As much as our society has stereotyped females, it has type casted males as well.

“You know you can take it easy. No one will hold it against you.”

I was speechless. I had seen all the men in my life work so hard for their families and then being tired out in their old age having given up their own dreams and aspirations to do something, being pushed and shoved at meaningless jobs all their lives because it was the only way to make money. Fawad said he loved his job but I seriously doubted it. It paid well but did he love it? Who knew?

“Let’s make a deal. Tonight we’ll talk about exploring other interests and avenues. We’ll get you a hobby. So that whenever you’re free you can sit down and distract yourself on something fun to do.”

“When I’m free, Saima, I want to spend that time with the two of you. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m doing alright. I like bringing home the bacon and taking care of you. I like doing that. Don’t over analyse. Men aren’t like you, women I mean. For us, this is really all we want. I don’t crave a lot of money. I just want us all to be happy and taken care of. And when you’re happy, I’m happy too.”

Is that all it takes? My husband was the most unselfish man I had ever met. And really, was that all he ever wanted in life? I just looked at him unable to express myself. In my heart of hearts I felt blessed and I also felt that not one minute would go by where I wouldn’t feel ever more growing love for this man.

Maybe it was all a façade. Maybe all the men in the world say this to their families to take away the pain that they feel of carrying such a heavy burden, who knows. I don’t think anyone ever does really know. They just demonstrate such amazing love and care which is so profound.

But for now, I was devoted to love and take care of this man who treated me like a queen and I adored treating him like a king.

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