• 18 Nov - 24 Nov, 2017
  • Ayesha Adil
  • Fiction

Join me will you as I rant. I want you to be with me while I let out steam. Here goes…

Lately, I have begun to hate my Facebook newsfeed. So many check-ins. Can’t people have a family meal at a restaurant without checking in? Or leave from an airport without telling the whole world about it?

I was irritated beyond repair. Angry and turned off.

How did this trend start? I wondered.

“Our narcissistic personalities, Saima, of course.” I remember Fawad telling me.

Why was he always so smart?!

I began to get frustrated and wanted to do something to teach people a lesson. I mean its fine to want to share the good news and tell your “friends” all that happened and it’s another thing to get obsessive about it and become a “serial” check-in maniac.

I know I’m being mean and I know I had no right to teach anyone a lesson over this, but there was a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I started to feel as if I should be checking into every room I entered in my house – even the restroom.

I started to feel that in the social world if I didn’t update my timeline with check-ins or pictures just to prove that I was having fun in life, meant that I didn’t actually do anything. And that was going against everything that I believed.

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

The quote that you just read is what the internet has turned us into. Social media celebrities or losers and this madness had to stop.

I vowed to myself that at the very first opportunity I got I would do something about this. I owed it to the world. If nothing else it would give me personal satisfaction and I didn’t care if I offended some “friends” out there.

A few weeks later Fawad planned an outing. We would spend the entire evening till dinner time at Port Grand. Now that’s the moment I have been waiting for I thought.

Oh wow! So not only will I check-in but I shall take all these pictures and when people comment (hopefully nice comments) I will bring my plan into action. In my own sarcastic manner I will inform them of my social experiment and send my point across. I hoped to get that chance.

Wasn’t I smug? And clever?!

When I talked to Fawad, you all must have guessed what his response was. He basically told me that it was a ridiculous plan and that to him it seemed more like “if you can’t beat’em join’em” kind of situation.

Fawad is always the uninventive and practical being.

I basically didn’t care. He did supply me with some helpful pointers though. Like the fact that I could check into any part of the world from my living room! Aha! No wonder so many people are checking-in. What proof do they have? Then he turned that theory into “nothingness” by pointing out the fact that this is the reason why so many people leave the Google location with their check-ins.

This was getting too technical – and so weird. I mean I need to prove to the world that I was actually here; just a check-in won’t do anymore. Has half the world turned into a bunch of Sherlocks? And the remaining half liars? I told Fawad that destiny is forcing me to bring a change for the better. I cannot sit around and do nothing.

The pictures with the check-in are further proof and evidence… more weirdness.

Fawad tried his best to dissuade me. “It’s their life Saima. If it bothers you that much, just unfriend them or limit the material you get to see from them. Everyone has a right to share things and show to their people the kind of life they are enjoying. The fact that you don’t have that urge, sets you apart, but it doesn’t mean that they are wrong.”

“Is it that you are a man which makes you so sane all the time? Uff Fawad! Stop with the logic for once; my head hurts!”

Port Grand was amazing, so fresh and breezy, and full of opportunities. I even had 4G; I will now check-in. Done. Google location? Done! Take pictures and upload? Done!

I could sense that Fawad was getting testy because I basically ignored him completely as I walked alongside engrossed in my phone.

“You look like them too you know,” he said nonchalantly.

“Huh, what was that?” I replied absent-mindedly.

“Forget it.”

We kept walking aimlessly. There were things to see and photograph. Wasn’t this the perfect day for my mission?

We reached our destined restaurant.

I put my phone down after checking in and started looking at the menu.

“You’re not photographing that one?” Fawad asked sarcastically.

“Fawad, I’m not enjoying this you know. It’s a social experiment after which I will mention how the people around me had to suffer because of my distraction. It will go to show that this kind of behaviour is not healthy.” He smiled.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re so passionate about everything that you do. That’s all. You know what? Let’s do this social experiment together. You want to put up the pictures anyways. Might as well tell them that you had a good time with your hubby?”

I really liked this idea. Why didn’t I think of it before?

So like many of you guessed it, after that it became fun. We took selfies. We took pictures with every possible background. We even secretly took pictures of strangers.

In my defense, it was still a social experiment.

Did I photograph my food, you ask? Yes! But I never appreciate food being posted. That’s another story though. We will get to that later.

On our way back home I began to post my pictures online and comments started coming in.

Happy and positive comments; lovely comments. I felt as if my happy moments were being shared by all my friends and I was spreading happiness to the entire universe.

Hey, what just happened? Stop Saima. Pause. Is this why people post online? They check-in for this euphoric feeling?

We reached home in laughter and giggles. I really enjoyed this evening more than any other in a long time.

After getting home, I hit the bed. There was work the next morning, but definitely a nice evening to remember. I decided that my social experiment did not achieve the results that I was hoping for, but in the process I ended up having a great time with my husband.

Check-ins were not a hugely bad idea after all; especially, when the next morning as I logged in to Facebook and saw that Fawad had also made a check-in at night after we came home. It was a simple one without a Google location.

It said, “Checked in at home with my beautiful wife Saima Fawad. The world is a perfect place.”

Aww… he even tagged me. Me, his beautiful wife… rainbows and butterflies. The world was indeed a perfect place.

Et tu, Brute! I thought to myself. This was, in fact, the best check-in ever. Like a typical Facebooker I even left a soppy comment. Not one but two Facebook monsters had been created whilst having a supposedly innocent social experiment last evening.

Sigh… I realised then it was time for Fawad and I to move into the 21st century with our check-ins and selfies, and all our social media drama. As my wise husband said, “if you can’t beat’ em join’ em.” •